Author: Paul (Chip) Harris

I when I arise it is off to the gym straight away for my Monday morning chest workout.  I workout with Pat and enjoy him very much.  He’s full of energy and enthusiasm and I appreciate that a lot.  I not sure how hard I worked today but think I’ll feel something tomorrow.  It’s going on 10 years that I’ve been working out regularly now.  I’m glad that I do. I’m still seeing improvements.  After I leave the gym I come home and check on the status of the newsletter that I managed to write and send this weekend.  It’s now been delivered to almost 900 customer with only 11 people unsubscribing.  Those are pretty great odds and I think about how well we are are doing at the store and how I lead the team in a culture of constant improvement.  Not unlike my workouts, some days are better than others but each day is step forward.  I need Pat to help me succeed with my health goals, I also need my personal commitment.  This is perhaps what starts me thinking about improvement and team work.  I couldn’t do was well without Pat.  My businesses couldn’t do as well without our teams.

I meet with our Swerve Living business partners at the Second Cup shortly after noon and we share the various activities we are doing to move our project ahead.  The most significant thing that needs to be done now is to complete the other 17 presales we need.  I would love to sit down with any of you and talk about Swerve Living and how it might fit for you.  Email or call if you are at all curious.

While I’m up at that end of town in all of those androgynous strip malls, I stop at the hardware store and pick up lighting, and paint for the store.  It feels good to be loose in a hardware store, makes the testosterone whosh though my body.  Leslie M is going to continue to paint later this week .  We have a nice soft shade of caramel for the wall which will mostly feature art.

I have been thinking about collaboration today.  I wonder why it is so hard for people to work to create something together.  Overall we do a great job of collaborating at the store now — but we wrestle daily with it.   It would be so easy for us to fall into a command and control, hierarchical arrangement.  Many days it seems that the staff crave it, and if I’m not on my toes I can catch myself making decisions for them.  I know that I sometimes think how much easier it would be if someone would tell me what to do, especially with Swerve. Interestingly, we are all happy there, we do like coming to work.

In fact I’ve began to think that collaborating and being committed to improvement is the reason that the store had so many record months last year, why we are headed for a record month this February.  I invite a staff member to work with me today on changing some of the procedures and reports to create more time for working with customers and doing other important things in the shop.  In the course of the conversation she tells me that a certain report that she uses is printing portrait instead of landscape cutting off some columns that she needs, and that it has been printing that way for quite a while.  She tells me that it doesn’t have all of the information on it that she needs for her to work quickly.  It takes me 10 minutes to make the change to the report and to correct the way that it prints.

I begin to think about what things that I do in my life the same way over and over, working around something that is inadequate because I’m either afraid to confront the question about possible changes or because it seems easier to do it the way that I know than sorting out a new way.  I think about what it would be like if I took my challenges to the group and ask them to collaborate with me.  I’m going to look at some of the tasks that I have on my desk tomorrow and see if there are something that I can do differently.

Stay out of the doghouse this year.  Valentine’s Day is coming, which means that it is time for you get into Sunworks and find those special gifts for the sweethearts in your life.  One of the most interesting products in the store is a Swiss Raclette.  It is perfect for romantic evenings, or fun dinner parties.  We tell our customers that it is like a fondue without the oil.  It’s a big flat stone grill that you put in the center of your table.  You cook on the stone and grill little trays of cheese and vegetables underneath. All you have to do is prepare good quality raw vegetables, meat and cheese, and a couple of condiments.   Wine and candles, and you should be all set.  Even the most unskilled man in the kitchen can pull this one off.  Healthy, fun, and perfect to promote conversation and cooing.  Remember spooning often leads to forking.

Our happy new promotional video

This week we approved the final version of a video for Sunworks that we have been working on for a few months.   As we continue to improve the store, it feels good  that we have something that we can share electronically with people that helps to showcase the shop.  Click on the link; we hope you enjoy it.   Feel free to send it around — there is a spot beside the video to do that very thing.  Terry did the voice over for this video and I think that he’s done an outstanding job.  He’s says that he wouldn’t give up his day job but he definitely has that sexy radio voice going on.

Music

If you were in within the last couple of weeks you’ll have noticed that the music shop of the store is changing.  Finally we have all of the fixtures in place and have started to order the music to fill it.  It’s a $40,000 dollar investment that is going to take us time to complete.  Each month this year we have $3000 worth of CDs and vinyl coming in.  The last order was shipped and is estimated to arrived on the 11th of February.  Paeton is our music man and has been receiving compliments from customers and the suppliers for his selections as we grow.  I’m confident that you’ll find something that you’ll like.

Clearance room

Of course each year we have to look at the inventory and determine what needs to go and what should grow.  Where we’ll build and where we’ll adjust.  We’ve created a sale clearance room for things that we’ll not be carrying again or have minor but repairable damage.  There are many interesting and useful things there for you, marked down by 50 – 90 percent.

Facelift on the second floor

One of the things that we do well is to continue to upgrade the store, new and better products, stronger service, and more interesting merchandising.  This January and February we’ve undertaken to restyle the second floor with new paint, better fixtures, and more easily understandable sections.  Over the next few weeks we’ll continue these efforts.  We think you’ll be delighted to see the change.  There are new products arriving within the next several weeks.  I’ve mentioned the raclettes.  We’ll also have high quality bamboo bathrobes, Spanish glass, handcrafted beads, paintings, stoneware, and organic spices.  Arriving very soon are quality rock sugars with interesting and exotic ingredients like coffee and cardamon, chocolate and chili, ginger, lime and rose.  These sugars are named for the seven deadly sins;  Pride, Envy, Wrath, Sloth, Greed, Gluttony, and Lust.

Harris-Warke Gallery

land of possibility

Photographs by Rocky Mountain House artist, Roberta Murray ASA, runs January 18 – February 19, 2010.

Roberta writes, “While exploring the landscape in a more impressionistic or representational context, I have become more attentive to the smaller details in nature that would normally be missed. It is like there is this unseen layer of reality that exists in an imaginary realm; a truth which exists for me alone. This makes me question if the idea of truth is a state that exists only in the mind of the individual. It is hoped through these manipulations I can encourage people to question how their own personal perceptions influence their views of reality.”

Red Deer culture

So often people come into Sunworks asking us were the Culture is in Red Deer.  We’ve started to create this map to include some of the places that we think you might what to know about.  Please feel free to send us additional entries, or if you really want to get involved we’ll give you edit access and you can build it with us.  It’s simple and fun.

View Red Deer Culture in a larger map

Conscious Evolution

Conscious Evolution — observations and insights through living on earth in the company of solitary travellers — is my personal website.  I’ve been quite active building this site to share my thoughts and insights about life.  As a community faciliator, writer, and artist I believe that I’m discovering ideas and ways of thinking that are helping me to make sense of the world and highlight what I think are useful questions to help us create an inspired future.  You may find it interesting to read and follow.  I share ideas, encourage thinking, promote collaboration and questioning, as well as post simple things like great recipes.  I link my site to sites of other thinkers and organizations that I find interesting and thought-provoking. I invite you to comment and participate. Tell me and other readers what your ideas and insights are.

Sunworks store hours

We are pleased to announce that we are now open Friday nights until 8, and Sundays Noon – 5 p.m.  The rest of the week the shop opens at 10 a.m. and closes at 6 p.m.  Please drop by and explore — enjoy a complimentary Illy coffee, and customer service that truly independent retailers can deliver.

If there is something that you would like read about in future issues please email me back.  In fact all feedback is welcomed, we actually like to hear back from you and we’ll share your comments with all of the Sunworkers.

I’m happily tired and relaxed after this interesting and productive week.  It concludes with the approval of a video for Sunworks that we have been working on for a few months.   As we continue to improve the store, it feels good  that we have something that we can share electronically with people that helps to showcase us.  I hope you enjoy it.   Feel free to send it around — Valentine’s Day is coming after all.  There is a spot beside the video to do that very thing.  Terry did the voice over for this video and I think that he’s done a really good job at it.  He’s says that he wouldn’t give up his day job but he definitely got that sexy radio voice going on.  This week has in so many ways been about enhancing the store and doing better at what we do well. Painting and merchandising, reflecting on our successes and our future, ordering, and creating new opportunities.  Tonight there is an art opening in the gallery.  As I think about it, there were so many enhancements to my life this week, not the least of which started last weekend when I completed building my new office furniture.  It feels as if I’m making good use of that handle that I found on life last year.

Tonight as I leave my office, I can hardly believe how productive, effective, and happy in my work and play I’ve been this week.  A solid week back to the gym after a 10 day break.  I worked out hard.  My desk is completely clear and there is a short list of things that will usher in the new week.  This week’s work is over and it is time for play.  Well there is the wee task of writing and sending a newsletter to all of our customers.  I’m going to put that on the fun side of the list for tomorrow.

It’s Friday evening; Terry and I are going to enjoy having a quiet evening with two of our best friends at our home.  It feels great to think about relaxing and to know that nothing truly pressing is nipping at my heels to be completed before the Monday.  Maybe I’ll finish my Christmas letter and manage to get that out for the friends and family that write annually in the old 20th century method.  Maybe I’ll start on the series of paintings that I would like to show in the gallery next year.   For now, off I go.  Perhaps tomorrow I’ll be in a bloggier mood.

I am reminded today of the work done in the past by others that allows us to enjoy what we do today.  I know that this sounds so heritage-like, historical, and perhaps boring to many, this is not what I am getting at.  When Terry and I visited La Sagrada Familia In Barcelona, I was flabbergasted to think that this structure has been under construction since 1882 and is not expected to be completed until 2026.  It was a real eye opener for me, much of Europe was like that for me, from the Roman roads and walls, to Stonehenge, to railway stations.  Inside La Sagrada Familia  I could easily see that at least seven generations of people have worked on it to carry out the concept that was hatched before, electricity, telephones, airplanes, or the internet (However, not before street trollies. One struck down Gaudi, the very architect that was working the project. Very sad.) Yet there must be something completely compelling about this project to keep people interested and engaged in the work.  What is it?  These people had great faith that their work would benefit the future in some way.

What do we do today to create something better for those seven generations in the future, or seven years in the future, or even seven months in the future?  Is there something what we could vision and begin working toward that would inspire people to keep striving for 150 years?

I went to a meeting tonight with my colleague Janice to speak about endowment funds of the Red Deer and District Community Foundation.  Endowments are money that community-minded people put in place to benefit others in the future.  The money is held in perpetuity, adjusted annually for inflation with the remaining interest earned on the money granted out to important causes, like symphonic music, or education, or health and wellness, or blue bird preservation.

Red Deer is home to the Red Deer Symphony Orchestra, and the board of that organization took steps in 1994 to establish an endowment fund with the intent to grow it over time in order to sustain the organization.  You may not know but the revenue from the tickets sales, of even a sold of performances, of the symphony can only cover part of the cost for them to bring music to the community.  That former board knew that if they started something and each new board carried the cause into the future that eventually the fund would grow into a significant source of revenue for their operations.  The board changed over time, and the fund sliped off the radar.  Then the board around 2003 began to think about it again, and the fund started to grow.  Over time the board and staff has changed yet again and the building of the endowment stalled, but still slowly continued to climb.  Tonight the board again visited the possibilities of the endowment and a new spark of enthusiasm appeared.

It’s long term thinking and planning.  In today’s fast-paced world we each seem stuck in doing things that we can immediately see the benefit from.  We focus our efforts on fund raising for causes, rather than the longer term possibility of fund development and endowment building.  I believe that sometime in the future, the efforts of former RDSO board members and staff, and the efforts of this current group will be rewarded.  There is no way to tell who may have put a bequest in their will that could significantly change the landscape of the organization.  Gifts coming from bequest are often significant.  The Community Foundation itself was started with a one time gift of over a million dollar from anonymous donors, who then left further funds in their wills when they past.  That was 20 years ago, today the Community Foundation has over 10 millions dollars in permanent endowments and knowledge that many citizens have bequests in their wills.  20 years from now the Community Foundation will have over 50 million in funds and some of those will be designated to the Red Deer Symphony Orchestra.

As individuals we each need to be aware of the legacy that we create through our actions, our gifts of service and of money.  I wish that there were some way that we could be aware of the gifts that the past have given us as we wake into the future.  It seems to me to be easy to lose our way into the future when we don’t acknowledge and attempt to understand our pasts.  These things are not found in dusty museums, they are found in the streets that we walk on daily, the buildings around us, the innovations that we enjoy, and the characteristics within us.  I have ways of talking and acting that came from my grandparents and parents, and they carried them from their grandparents and parents.  Yes, we are a rattled bunch.

It’s my challenge to you for tomorrow to look around you and really see the gifts the that past offers us, then think about the gifts that you have to offer the future just by being who you are, perhaps your ideal self.

Just yesterday I thought to myself, “writing in my blog is starting to come back to me, I could be interesting again.”  Now I sit here looking at the blank page and wonder what it is that might be interesting today.  I’m not sure, and that is kind of boring to write about.  I find that sometimes if I just begin the words do come and there is something interesting for me to reflect about.

The staff meeting this morning goes well.  I ask the question that I proposed here yesterday.  “What did we do right during those particular record breaking months from last year?”  The conversation almost immediately turns to the three months that we did so poorly, and all of the external factors that we can’t control — possible reasons why we did badly in September, October, and November.  I try a couple of times to reroute the conversation and Leslie M works at it as well, and finally we get there.  Here it is:  a customer commented yesterday that every time she comes into our store it gets better and better.  Then we talk about how we are in the state of constant improvement, that we upgrade what we’ve done in the past and do things a little better as we learn.  We point to the example of the second floor.  It was only two weeks ago when Alan attended the meeting that the group  hatched the idea of creating a sale room, painting, reorganizing the fixtures, and tightening up the displays.  The second floor is transformed and new ideas emerged today to make it even better.

In facilitation work, and I suppose in life, I am absolutely committed to the idea of inner reflection — to praxis.  To stop for a moment and do ‘praxis’, that is to ask questions about our shared experience of actually doing the exercise that we were doing.  So today, we stop the discussion to do praxis together.  We ask the good questions, what are we doing when we ask these questions? why are we doing this? what is is like for you personally? how does it feel?  The most amazing discussion quickly appears, led but Heather who speaks about how it gives us a chance to feel part of the business and to honour one another.  Liz says how nice it is to feel belonging.  Everyone has interesting and thoughtful comments about what we are doing together.  The air feels electric with connection and everyone seems to feel that they have a voice.  I hope they feel that way, since we work so hard at it.

I reflect for a moment with the group on an insight that I had, and that was that it seemed hard for all of us not to go to the negative and instead focus on our strengths and not our weaknesses.   Everyone agrees that they experienced something similar.  I wonder how often we sit with ourselves individually and begin with a question about our accomplishments, and soon find ourselves focusing on the things that are not done at all, or not done well.  Why is it that we are so hard on ourselves when we have the power to give ourselves space to celebrate our successes?  Here I am, a living example of this very thing.  I notice now that I opened this entry with just such a statement.  Since what I write today is so related, I’m going to leave it as an example. Often I delete the opening paragraph after I’ve found my way into the writing.

Later in the afternoon I would on crafting a workshop about questions that create community change and my mind goes back to the morning. I think about how do you craft good questions together.  What real techniques, examples, exercises will help to create the very best questions?  Then once we have those questions how can we begin to explore them with new questions that will add detail, illuminate, refine, and expand our thinking not contract it and bring us down into a place where we are focusing on the weaknesses.  We must built and encourage our strengths and our ability to question well in such a way that the weaknesses and factors beyond our control are no longer pertinent or credible.  It’s a bit strange that we give power to unknown factors, instead of focusing on the things that we do know and letting that inform our future.

In the doing of these things today, I’m becoming increasingly convinced that when we work on anything we have two parallel processes taking place.  Those are: the activity or exercise that we are undertaking, and the reflection on the shared practice of doing the activity.  If these things can be done in harmony then we can achieve alignment of purpose in the doing both, and we can make our activity congruent with our reflection.  We use the same process to do the activity as we to do reflect on the activity.  One informs the others.  It’s a self adjusting system that offers us great internal wisdom.

Now I think about the question from this morning in the quiet of my office.  Why are we successful?  Why did we have a record breaking year in the midst of a recession?  Perhaps it is because we are reflexive, that we have started to internalize praxis, that we reflect with one another in a way that allows us to honour one another. Perhaps it the practice is a safe place for respect to grow and that in turn results in giving each of us a voice with the others.  If this is one thing that we have been doing unconsciously, what will comes of us and the store as we make this part of our retail practice?  How does this relate to the feeling we have of belonging, or the customers’ feeling of belonging?  Gosh I am excited to see where this all may go, but one thing is quite possible.  Sunworks could have another record year and customers will continue to come in and notice that thinks are getting better and better.

Sunday last, I realize that it is the last day to submit a proposal for a show at the gallery.  It is Sunday so I don’t have to do other work.  I spend the afternoon writing and putting together the required images, CV, and artist’s statement.  It is amazingly helpful to write the artist’s statement.  As I think about it now I feel a growing need to paint.  I have a sense that the doing of art in my life will help give me balance in my work life.  It’s balance that I need, even though I’m quite pleased with the way my work is going.  There’s a possibility that I could completely clear out the ‘do to tray’ by Friday.  That would certainly give me space this weekend.  No! This is not your clue to give me anything else.

Today I am up just before dawn and can hardly believe how refreshed and clear I feel.  It’s a great contrast to yesterday.  I drive to the gym in the cold and gray, the sky is the same muddy gray colour as the ground.  My work out once again goes well, and I decide to stop at the store and do some work before the staff come in.  I sit and do some analysis on the store projected revenue with all of the numbers since we started at the farmers’ market in 1996, 14 years ago.  It’s incredible to think that Sunworks is that old, or that I’m that much older.  We have steadily grown in sales and experience and are getting better at what we do.  Last year in spite of the recession 8 of the 12 months were the best we’ve ever achieved.  One was the second best.  September, October, and November were absolutely abysmal.  Overall we had our best year.  I sit there and scratch my head about why those months should be so bad compared to the rest.  I show it to Leslie M when she comes in.  Then it occurs to me that it really doesn’t matter.  The question that we need to answer is “what did we do the other 9 months, that created so much success?”  We’ll talk about it at the staff meeting tomorrow.

It takes me a couple more hours to sort out the projections for 2010 and to input them into our software.  I’m happy that my database skills are intact, and I enjoy myself very much… all except for the one moment that I thought I deleted three years history.  False alarm.  Our IT specialist, Byron with Advanced Systems, installed the software I need to do all sorts of queries on our business data, and I’m looking forward doing this analysis.  Okay, I’m a geek… you see now why I have to paint?  In between canvas I’m going to put my logical left brain to work as the king of Structured Query Language (SQL), my claimed title from college days.  I suppose this is a form of asking questions too.  Hmm, that’s interesting and just nerdy enough to thrill me deep inside.   It fits in the same category although side the fact that I have a Tricorder Application on my iPhone.

Did you know that according to research of business teams, high-functioning business teams ask 20 questions for every one statement they make.  Low functional, and I’ll add dysfunctional teams make three statements to every one question they ask.  Questions like ‘what if?’ ‘what’s next?’ are not often in their minds.  As I go to the staff meeting tomorrow I’ve got some good questions to ask.  I wonder what other good questions will appear as work together.  I wonder how the store will do this year.  I’m sure I’ll have some queries to write!  I’ll think of these as digital questions. Exciting.

It is in the asking of good positive-based questions that motivation and good ideas are found.  As I work through the analysis today, ut’s really nice to be reminded that the store is continuing to do well and to grow.  Now as we come out of the recession, will be expect that good service and doing thing right things will continue to serve us in our growth.  I have a sense they will.  Tomorrow we’ll upgrade our way of working together and create new possibilities.

That’s it. I head for home and never go back to the office.  Do I write my long over due Christmas Letter?  No.  Do I paint?  No. I work on the Swerve Living project, visit with my best friend Alan, do laundry, start scrubbing the kitchen floor.  In the late afternoon I drive to Sylvan Lake for a massage.  I notice the gray skies and think about the coming sunshine,  think about my art application, and question where life could be this time next year.   I wonder why I feel so different today than I did yesterday.  Perhaps my Borg implant isn’t functioning within normal parameters.

I drag myself through the winter cold to the gym today after being away nearly 10 days.  It’s time for spring and I wonder if the green will ever come again, it makes me freak out a little that I can’t remember well when it was green.  I’m feeling a little gloomy about a couple of my personal projects.  I don’t know if it is the winter that is making me feel blue, but it seems a convenient excuse.  Poor winter taking the blame.  Come on, time to pack your shoeshoes a trudge off to the north.  At least there is more light during the day.  My friends in Ireland are talking about the snow having gone and the spring flowers starting to appear.

I think that maybe I worked a little too hard last week and that I just need some quiet time at home.  Maybe catch up my laundry, read some.  Instead I’m in my car on the way to the gym.  My work out is great.  Weights are up and form is good.  Corey says that he can see nice changes in my lats.  That’s encouraging.  I appreciate hearing positive things about my efforts.  I was not feeling very much gumption when I arrived.

Janice and I go for lunch.  I have a steak with salad that I was craving.  Original Joe’s comes through again.  We talk about change processes and the power of social constructionism.  Of the influence of well crafted positive questions. She is a ray of sunshine, even though we are both feeling a bit despairing about the amount of time it takes to accomplish anything in the city or the province.  For example, where is that train we’ve been talking about for 20 years.  That infrastructure project would transform this province during the recession and create amazing opportunities in the future.  It would attract all kinds of interest in Alberta.  I wonder if I’ll see it in my life time or whether the province will come out of the dark ages.  Still positive change occurs.  We think about how to create civic engagement around important things that would make our city a better place.  We talk about the election.  Then it happens again, the question.  Will I, should I run for City Council?  Can I get more done on the outside then the inside?  I used to think so, now I’m not so sure.  I’ve changed so much in the past couple of years.  I’m far more ready invite difficult dialogue.  I wonder about whether having open honest conversations about what the community could be would be received well during a campaign.  There is time to decide, and I must get Swerve Living under construction before I take on anything new.

At the store Leslie M makes a point of saying some kind words to me about me, my skills and the things that I do.  She tells me how well respected she thinks I am in the community.  It is lovely to hear.  It reminds me of how important it is to tell others the good things we see in them. I feel quite grateful that she has come to work with me at Sunworks.

I sit at my desk and wait for work inspiration.  There is so much I could do.  I settle on government reporting and spend the afternoon feeling out forms and reporting WCB numbers and doing T4 slips.  If one is feeling blue already, might as well use it to your advantage and do the nasty tasks.  I’d rather clean the bathroom than fill out government reports.   Once that is done, I get my Christmas letters out and think about writing everyone back, instead I chat with some close friends.

In the evening, I continue my work on the Swerve Living website and by the end of the night I have the floor plans posted.  I’ve made it through the day, done some things well, made it through some mucky stuff, and spent some time with friends.  The day seems fairly balanced.  Perhaps tomorrow will be laundry day and letter writing.  I’m hoping that as I go to the gym tomorrow, the winter will relent just a wee bit and let the snow soften and the sun shine through.  I hope I’m feeling sunny and bright tomorrow.  Thanks to all of you friends that continue to support and inspire me.

I sit at my desk and reflect on my efforts this week and marvel at it all.  So many things were accomplished that moved every project along just a little.  Some more than others, but nothing insignificant in any area.

The changes on the second floor of the store over the past week have made all of the difference to the way it looks and feels.  You can always have a wee peek on the webcam at www.sunworks.ab.ca/webcam.htm A lot of hard work was done by the staff happily, including painting and setting up new displays, and a sale room.

Swerve Living is getting a lot of inquiries and the project is moving along quickly now.  I’m doing my best to keep up with the administration and requests of the team.  Not an easy task some days, but I’ve for the most part cleared my desk and enabled the team to keep going.  We are planning to break ground very shortly, at the first sign of spring.

Without listing everything, know that there has been great progress everywhere.  As I finish this week and think about all that I need to do next week, I feel really good about the way that I’ve organized the next week.  Oh sure, I have big piles of work but everything feels well in hand.  I’m not experiencing that ‘tharn feeling’ that I get somedays when things seem just beyond my knowledge level and too much for the time available.   Why, I ask myself?  Why is it that I feel confident and strong and able?

I’ve heard so many times in my life, “how do you accomplish so much?” Yet, most times I’ve felt the stress that comes from doing a lot.  This week that feeling is not with me and I know that I’ve accomplished a lot and done it happily and for the most part with skill and grace.  Here is a little reflection on what I’ve done differently and want to continue to practice.

I was reminded earlier about the best way to help others as I offered some thoughts from my own experience.  One can never be inside the skin of another.  We can never really know what it is like to see through another’s eyes or have another’s life experiences.  We can only know what it is like to be within our own bodies, and even then we are often not in touch with every experience we’ve held.  When a dark time appears in the life of those we love, the best thing we can offer is our presence.   We can stand beside them, hold their hand, and peer into the dark hole with them.  As friends have done with me. We can’t go into it ourselves — it’s theirs alone to face.  We are all solitary by nature, even if we chose the company others.  We can be beside them, we can express our love, we can offer ideas and encouragement, we can clap and cheer, but we can’t do anything in their own inner space for them.  All that spiritual and psychological processing has to come from within the individual themselves.  There is no short cut.  People have to come to things on there own.  Our role with others to just to be, and to be with.

It’s so easy to feel trapped in the challenges of others, to want to play the role of rescuer, to think that we can somehow fix things on their behalf.  We can’t, and the more we play it over and over in our heads we create our own internal stress and frustration.  This is not to say that we don’t have gifts to offer, each of us has many.  The best gift we have to offer of ourselves is the gift of our being true to who we are.  The way that we live our lives is more important that any bit of advice we might offer.  To share stories from our own lives is a way of connecting with others and giving voice to our own existence. It’s the basis of relationship.  To stand beside another, to share your stories, to offer your energy through touch and voice, these are the only real things one can do.

For me, the doing of these things helps me to pay attention to the space between words.  I feel we  spend much of our time in constant thought.  We rehearse, debate, replay, fret, and analyze.  Or we fill our time with noise of the world, news, TV, and radio.  Too much of this doesn’t allow us the space to be, to be with ourselves, and to be with others.  When others are in need we may not even notice because we can be so internally focused on our own inner dialogue.

This week I was present, not only with others, but with myself.  I was able to ‘stand beside myself’ and witness my own behavior and feelings.   Even though each of us must become comfortable in our aloneness, we still have the ability to play the role of friend and companion for ourselves.   No one else can be inside our souls or see from our perspective completely. Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed my the work or the situation I find myself in, that my mental dialogue is going full tilt.  There is no space between the words that I can notice, there is only the endless stream of words.  I stop being present with myself. It’s a seriously awful downward spiral that I can get myself into. Here’s a little exercise that has helped me when I feel stress or any number of other difficult emotions.

Imagine you are standing beside yourself, whatever state that self might be in.  You focus the quiet space between the words, the silence.  You are present, calm, and centered.  You feel whole and able to access your own experience, wisdom, and yours stories.

You place your hand on the shoulder of your other self.  You let your calm energy flow into your other self. You know exactly what to you say and the encouragement to give, because unlike friends and others in your life, you do have access to your own experience and stories.  You can see through your own eyes.  The wisdom is all there.  Say what you need to say, offer the insight that you have to yourself.  Focus on the strength and happiness within you.  Be your own angel to yourself.

I think that this takes patience and practice to internalize, which I hope to do more fully.  It’s my belief that these skills are the same whether caring for yourself or for another.

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I number of people have mentioned to me that they are reading my entries and are enjoying them.  Some of the ideas I write about are part of a book that I am working on, which I may never finish, but can can work on it and enjoy the process.  Your thoughts and reflections would be interesting to me but I also invite you to share your thoughts here with others that are reading.

I arrive at the store feeling a bit ‘rammy’.  The chaos of the changes irritates me a little and I help Leslie M do some sorting.  She too is feeling a wee bit cranky.  We decide to be happy together and sort out some of the clutter.  It helps.  Yes, I even wash my office floor.  Meanwhile,  our computer tech guy is slinking around,  updating faulty windows patches and sorting out a virus that slipped onto one of the machines.  It annoys me that we have to pay to monitor problems and updates with windows.  I wish all of our machines were Macs. Yes, I will have to buy an iPad when they come out in the summer.

In the afternoon a client stops by and asks me if I would consider facilitating a discussion about community priorities.  We’ll base it around great questions that help ignite change.  It’s just the type of thing that I like to do.  I think about whether Alan might be interested in returning for a short day’s work in March.  I also think about my friend Liz and wonder how serious she may be to explore Alberta.

Later in the afternoon, I realize that I am having trouble prioritizing my tasks today and decide the best approach is to use the stack method and just start at the top.  Take the first thing deal with it, move onto the next thing and so on.  I manage to knock several things off the lists without creating too much stress by looking at everything that needs doing.  I find myself looking forward to coming to work tomorrow with a slightly more clear perspective.    The staff all leave for the day and I think I’ll do a couple more things before I fire up Jean Pod and bounce on home.  It will be nice to enjoy the quiet of my office without any distraction.

I do too much administration for Swerve and need to go home to soak in the hot tub and drink a glass of wine or two.  A myriad things off the list today and no stellar insight to reflect except that it’s nice to have quiet days to just plod along.  It’s like the space between the bigger tasks, even if it feels a little like cleaning up debris from a typhoon.

I stand on my step in the twilight watching the sky change, light pink and orange glows on the horizon like an early morning Hawaiian sky. The clear fresh blue above is a welcomed backdrop to the crisp Alberta morning.  The long white hoar frost clings to the trees in the foreground.  Darrel comes around the corner to pick me up for a meeting we have in Calgary (and yes, my fifth trip in seven days). His truck bounces across the ruts in the ice covered street. Darrel is one of the four partners of Swerve Living and we are meeting with a cost consultant and our mortgage broker.  I’m pleased that he has asked me to come along on for this meeting.  It gives us a chance to catch up on the project and renew our energy about the project.

Swerve Living has been about four years in the planning, design, redesign, and sales phases.  We have weathered so many factors and issues.  When Terry and I started this project we thought naively “how hard can this be?”  Like everything else we did we forged ahead anyway.  Wrote funding applications, purchased land, hired architects, and began marketing.  Then… the housing bubble.  Prices for housing skyrocketed, which meant construction costs skyrocketed.  Our project which started out as a three million dollar project quickly escalated to over 14 million.

Vacancy rates were below zero in Red Deer when we started.  People were moving from across the country to find work in Alberta.  Some living in tents on the outskirts of the city.    Everyone thought that there was gold in Alberta.  Construction companies raised prices, partly to attract and pay the best workforce and partly to reap (rape) additional profits in a hot economy.   Workers moved around like honey bees, flitting from one company to the next looking for the highest pay.   Government project, both civic and provincial had deep pockets and were prepared to meet the increase in costs to see projects through.  This left a shortage of labour for the private sector and what could be found came at prices escalated by marketplace demand.

Boom! As always happens, the costs began to exceed the prices that people were willing to pay for the finished product.  Houses and condos could no longer be built and sold for a profit.  Government projects finished and future ones were put on hold until the economy cooled.  The construction market began its correction.  Workers began to leave Alberta for home.  Some had done well, some had come too late, and some had spent with reckless abandon and had nothing to show for it.

Financial institutions quit lending to capital projects.  The federal government trumpeted the success of Canadian banks and hearing the praise the banks tightened lending even further.  Where did all of this chaos leave us and our Swerve Living project?  Well, it left us actually in a quite fortunate position.  We were too early in our design phase to be ready to build before the escalation of costs occurred.  We were troubled by the labour shortage and climbing prices but the situation caused us to hold the project until the pricing could correct itself.  The corrections to the market have been happening.  Construction costs  have been coming down, but then with the exodus of people from Alberta and unemployment rising, the housing market has taken severe drop.  Our project could be built at reasonable costs but the housing market prices needed to recover to make it profitable.

Here we are at the beginning of 2010.  All of the conditions are favourable.  Construction costs are in line with housing prices.  The housing market is beginning to grow at a reasonable and steady rate.  Lenders, especially private lenders, are starting to be interested in finding projects to fund. We are now receiving steady calls on the project and purchase interest as picked up.

Darrel and Adele joined us in this project about 18 months ago and have weathered most of the storm.  As I travel to Calgary today with Darrel all of this goes through my head.  I think about how much I would have learned about real estate development in a steadily rising market, but I also think about how much more I have learned in a market that has been so wild for the past three years.  I’ve learned who I can trust and who I can’t.  I’ve learned how this process could be better and what pitfalls could be avoided.  I’ve also learned the importance and power of business relationships during the hard times.  I’m reminded of how my creativity and tenacity has served me.  Without one another’s support, and that of friends this project could have died an early death.

Swerve Living is one of my dreams.  It will be built and we will start construction in March or April of this year.  The cost consultant and the mortgage broker are pleased with the plans, the budget, and the vision that we have brought to this project.  Swerve Living will change the face of downtown Red Deer.  It is community friendly featuring a wonderful street presence, it is people friendly featuring beautiful designed light-filled spaces, and its design is light on the earth.

Our meeting goes very well and we have a clear checklist… and you know how I love lists… to meet our goal to begin construction soon.  I’m feeling quite confident in our team as we leave the meeting.  Darrel and I talk about details and the activities that we need to do in the next couple of days.  We make a pit stop at Ikea on the way home for yet one more shelf unit for my office. As if my fingers aren’t numb enough from yesterday, wielding that odd-shaped Ikea screw bit.

The journey home goes quickly and before you know it I’m back at my office assembling the last of my new shelves.  Leslie M is busy painting the second floor of Sunworks.  It’s looking great.  Matt shows up and offers some advice about the changes.  I leave his thoughts to rattle around in my brain with the ideas from Glynis and her friend, the Sunworks staff, and Alan. It’s going to be hot.

Terry comes to take me home.  I bamboozle him into helping me move furniture around in the store.  I’m happy to see changes and realize that painting of my office may be way sooner than I was thinking.  It feels so great and it’s giving me new energy to work.   Tomorrow will be cleaning and serious desk work.  Painting on the weekend?  Hmmm.

At home, we eat dinner and then watch Obama deliver the US State of the Union address.  He talks about weathering the storm and that change and uncertainty is not easy.  He speaks of faith in the future.  I think about how much more hopeful I am in the world since Bush left office and what a disaster he was.  I think about how anti-American I became when he was in power.  Now, I feel hopeful for the future of the United States.  I may someday be proud to have them as neighbours again.

It’s only two years ago this April that Alan and I attended a week long course on Inspired Leadership in Totnes at Schmacher College, England.  The lead facilitator, Meg Wheatley, opened her comments by saying “America is Dead.” Not the most inspiring thing to say but it certainly reflected Bush era and the results of US involvement in two wars.

Climate change was barely a credible topic, yet we were trying to create an environmental friendly building.  At that time the price escalation troubles of the Swerve project were fully known.  The world seemed to be quaking under with despair coming from every direction.  I worried about how my own projects would do. I wondered about how I could be an inspired leader.

Today the recession storm mostly passed, another undoubtedly is brewing.  This morning the sun rose creating with beautiful colours against the cold morning.  Tomorrow I will work hard and enjoy the light that is in my life now.  I will have faith and hope in the future.  I will sing happy songs.  I will wash my office floor!