Autumn, day 19. Just news and ramblings.

Weirdest dreams last week.  In them I try to hold my ground in a decision that I’ve made that seems to have disappointed everyone, and yet the decision I had to take was a result of the others meddling in my affairs which caused weeks worth of work to be undone and lost.   The actions that others took caused me great anxiety.  I reached out to those in my dreams the next morning to ground myself in the physical world, so that the feelings I had in the dream world can be faded.  I checked in on those relationships, I certainly do not need any leakage from dreaming to reality except to analyse what it might have been all about.

My Dad made an appearance in my dream and that was nice.  He was healthy, bigger and taller than me, and was doing his best to bring harmony. I woke before I changed my mind or he convinced me to change my mind.

It’s October 11th now, and I’m awake in the middle of the night.  Not unusual for me.  Since last week, Terry and I have taken two major decisions.  Firstly, we will sell the building which houses Sunworks.  I’ve spent this week working with a realtor and hope that we can make short order of the process.  Of course, we still need a buyer.  Secondly, we’ve had to reduce the hours at Tribe to the same that we did last year, only Friday and Saturday evenings from 3:30 to 11:00.  Snow fall came early, and the City once again took out the patio on Ross, our business vanished.  Some days only a half a dozen people through the restaurant.

We both are realizing that the constant pressure of dealing with the economy, financing, staffing, tenant troubles, vacancy rates, and downtown crime is more than we have the capacity for, or want to deal with.  It’s taking a toll on our creativity and relationships.  However, we believe that the downtown is on the cusp of change for the better but it’s going to take younger blood and new ideas.  We’re spent and it’s time to pass the torch to others to carry on the vision of a vibrant cultural hub.  

At day 19 into the fall, I don’t have a lot of days left to make the changes that I want.  Over the next few weeks I’ll be doing a lot of desk work in an attempt to catch up so many things that have fallen aside during my time on council.  I still hope to have my energy back for the new season.  

I could really use a mentor and coach to help me through all of the steps that I need to take.  

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